The Major League Baseball cataclysm

Here’s one cataclysm I’m looking forward to: the collapse of Major League Baseball under the combined weight of its steroid-monkeys. You didn’t really believe Mark McGuire built that body in the gym, did you? Look at these before-and-after pics:

How can anyone be shocked – shocked, you say! – to find out those hulking beasts have been shooting themselves up for years with all sorts of growth hormones?

Gimme a break. You knew it, coaches and heads of the league knew it. To say otherwise is the depths of dishonesty and self-deception.

Here’s another thing. Ever notice how when team owners threaten to leave a city if they won’t build them a new palace, the team in question suddenly has a couple of winning seasons in a row? City gets excited, boatloads of taxpayer dollars are spent to placate the owners, and suddenly the team goes back to its losing ways. It’s clear – the fix is in.

Why are Congress and the Department of Justice wasting their valuable time investigating something so unimportant as baseball, when everyone knows exactly what the problems are? But more than that, why are you watching games that are fixed, cheering on oversized monsters who prefer to cheat any which way they can, rather than use skill and sportsmanship in order to win?