How will you get your fix after the cataclysm?
As I sit here sipping my daily cup of tea, it suddenly dawns on me: Where will I get my caffeine fix after the global climate change cataclysm?
This thought should strike fear in the hearts of all who live in the northern hemisphere. It’s not your own withdrawal you need to worry about either. It’s all those other people who haven’t planned ahead for the cataclysm. Think of it – the entire population of United States and Canada in caffeine withdrawal.
Grumpy, headachy nations with their finger on nuclear hair-triggers, and no access to their daily dose of joe.
Sure, they’ve got chicory in New Orleans, but have you ever tried to get a buzz off that stuff?
There will be a few mitigating circumstances. For one thing, lots of people won’t survive the cataclysm so they won’t be around. But because less of the planet will be habitable, we’ll all be crammed closer together as we suffer our withdrawal. A recipe for disaster, to be sure. It is possible that with weather patterns changing we might be able to grow coffee and tea in places where we can’t now. But those plants will take a long time to get to the point where they can produce an adequate fix for all who need it.
You could add coffee to your cataclysm survival kit, but you just can’t pack enough to meet your needs forever. The better way to prepare for the cataclysm is to break the caffeine habit now. Say adios to your morning cuppa. Taper it off slowly if you must; go cold turkey if you dare.
Switch to a morning beverage that grows locally. Grow your own mint and rose hips for tea. No caffeine, but it’s better for you, and won’t require global shipping and logistics to get it in your cup.
Coffee photo by Arnaud Gaillard
![Gustave Doré - Dante Alighieri - Inferno - Plate 9 (Canto III - Charon).jpg [POTD for November 30 from commons.wikimedia.org]](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Gustave_Dor%C3%A9_-_Dante_Alighieri_-_Inferno_-_Plate_9_(Canto_III_-_Charon).jpg "Gustave Doré - Dante Alighieri - Inferno - Plate 9 (Canto III - Charon).jpg [POTD for November 30 from commons.wikimedia.org]")
July 15, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I’ve known for a long time that coffee is evil for all kinds of environmental and trade-related reasons. But it will probably take a cataclysm for me to break the habit. I know, I know….
July 21, 2008 at 12:28 pm
[...] How to survive the coming caffeine cataclysm Where will you get your caffeine fix after the global climate change cataclysm? Not just you, what about everyone else in the northern hemisphere? Think of it – grumpy, headachy nations with their finger on nuclear hair-triggers, all in caffeine withdrawal. Listen here and learn how to prepare. Or read the post here. [...]
July 21, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Wow! I hope i won’t survive to the cataclysm… I will burn standing on my roof top bearing my Moka coffee machine in front of the BigBlow (and hoping for a BigBlow…). I’m italian… i can’t survive a lack in caffeine… I can stand the peak oil, the phosphur peak and all the other peak but not the caffeine one! PANIC!
Saluti!
Nicola
July 22, 2008 at 5:29 am
You and me both, Nicola. This is the first tip where I’ve realized, I’m truly unprepared for the cataclysm.
July 22, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Mint and rose hips taste might all right, but they sure won’t get the job done.
You’re better off growing your own tea camellias. Good info here: . (Sorry about the commercial link. I promise I ain’t affiliated.)
July 24, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Sorry. Here’s the URL:
http://www.camforest.com/tealist.html
August 1, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Thanks for the link, Chukk. You’re right that mint does not pack the same punch at all.
Looks like you can grow your own tea here in North America. Although, as the site says, “a hedge may be needed to supply a family with a daily supply.”
September 17, 2008 at 1:37 pm
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October 2, 2008 at 12:24 pm
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