What else can you do with locally-grown veggies?

After the cataclysm, we’ll all have to find unexpected uses for familiar things after the cataclysm. The Vienna Vegetable Orchestra is already prepared:

Just be prepared – the veggies that grow in your ‘hood today may not grow there post-cataclysm. For related info to help you create your own veggie music, check out tips #8, #18 and #22.

Thank you, Cheryl, for posting the link!

#36 Make friends with old people

Many bloggers will find this hard to believe, but there are people alive today who were born before the television was a household item.

Some people alive today remember life before television

They remember life before there were such things as Social Security and the CIA. They remember having to entertain themselves by playing outside, singing aloud and using Go Fish sets that didn’t have little mermaids on them. Many of them, no matter what part of the country they’re from, remember growing their own food. Most remember cooking their own meals, or at least having someone around to cook meals for them.

These people are great resources for preparing for the global climate change cataclysm. They remember the life you’re likely to find yourself living. Limited access to electricity, reduced to depending on the sweat of your brow to get what you need.

So get out there and meet some old people. Learn from them how hard life used to be. They have the tips to help you survive it.

DIY radio – truly listener supported

You don’t rely on commercial radio to keep you informed today, so don’t expect to count on them after the cataclysm. Listen to this podcast for a better option:

Right click here to download the mp3, or here to read tip #14: Low power FM to the people.

[Listener Supported by Michael Franti]

#14 Low power FM to the people

My last tip was all about wind-up electronic gadgets that will help you survive the climate change cataclysm. When our political, economic, social and electrical grids all collapse from environmental destruction, you’ll still be able to power up flashlights, radios and even cell phones with your own physical strength. No batteries or electric plug-ins required.

Then I remembered that for wind-up gadgets of the communications variety to work, it takes two. At least.

After the cataclysm, will there be any radio stations to listen to on your wind-up radio? I’m thinking that all the cookie-cutter, Clear Channel dreck we hear on the radio will go bye-bye the day the cataclysm hits. I mean, if the people who produce that garbage weren’t being paid to do it, they wouldn’t show up at the studio. Right? I hope not.

On the other hand, people who create innovative, informative and interesting radio programming are going to keep on doing it no matter whether they’re paid or not. If you’re on the radio to provide a public service, you’re doing it because you love it. I bet you’ll keep doing it after the cataclysm. You’ll be more important then, while mainstream commercial radio will become even more irrelevant than it already is.

So start your radio show right now, to prepare for the cataclysm. Get together with a group of friends and set up your own low power FM station, one that will broadcast good quality programming that addresses local needs and interests. It’s going to take a few people, some serious time and a bit of money, so you’d do well to get on with the organizing now. The good people at the Prometheus Radio Project have lots of advice on offer.

What’s that, you say? What about a license? You may not know it but the airwaves are actually a natural resource owned by the people. We don’t need no stinkin’ licenses!

Seriously, after the cataclysm there’s not going to be any Federal Communications Commission around to keep you off the air and give away spots on the radio dial to the highest bidder. Problem is, if you wait until after the cataclysm to start your station, you won’t be able to find the equipment you need. Sure, do the cost-benefit analysis and apply for the license if you must, but don’t wait to start your own station. Fly the pirate radio Jolly Roger with pride! Even if all you’ve got is an Ipod.

My wind-up radio is cranked up and ready to tune in to your station.

Low power FM image: New Orleans Indymedia

Greenwashing gets me hot

I found this charming video on Bryson Nitta’s The Third Wave blog:

It’s so wrong on so many levels.

Mining is one of the most dangerous jobs in America, with people dying on the job from injuries and off the job from black lung and other diseases. “Sixteen Tons,” the 1946 Merle Travis song GE cleverly uses in the ad is all about the physical and economic abuse of workers. On top of that, the product they’re trying to greenwash (and “bluewash” at the same time) is coal, which is doing more to contribute to the coming global climate change cataclysm than any other source of electricity.

The ad is two years old, but it seems so fresh in light of all the other energy misinformation we’re being fed these days.

Get your superhero on

Power it up under your own power.

Listen here (2:59)

Or right-click here to download the mp3. Or you can read the post here.

[Nietzche by the Dandy Warhols]

US Dept of Energy warns kids against solar power

In doing some research for my previous post about wind-up gadgets, I ran across the Energy Kids Page created by the U.S. Department of Energy.

The page shows an adorable blue ant playing energy games and taking energy quizzes, and it offers classroom activities for teachers! And how about this fun fact: Did you know that ink and crayons are made from fossil fuels?

Hey, DOE, did you know that some aren’t?

But here’s what really got me steamed. On the first page, where they explain How Electricity Is Generated, DOE writes that

Solar power is derived from the energy of the sun. However, the sun’s energy is not available full-time and it is widely scattered.

Widely scattered? So is petroleum. So is coal, America’s #1 source of electricity. But DOE doesn’t mention that. Solar is the only energy source that DOE describes for kids as having any problems at all.

DOE – as well as children and their parents – may be interested to know that the sun exists in more places on Earth than either oil or coal. The only reason coal and oil don’t appear to be “widely scattered” is because we’ve developed complex delivery systems for them. If we’d spent the last five years investing in collection and delivery systems for solar power rather than on an expeditionary army that’s consuming more than 3 million gallons of oil a day in Iraq, maybe solar power wouldn’t seem so scary to the Dept of Energy.

Hey, kids. Don’t be fooled.

Solar array photo.

#9 Finding yourself, analog style

I’ll never forget the day about ten years ago when I saw a guy walking through a parking lot with one of those newfangled PDA things, trip, and drop it into a puddle. The terror-stricken look on his face was enough to convince me to stick with paper and pencil for a while yet.

I eventually succumbed to the siren song of the cell phone, but I still keep a paper calendar. I love the physical act of writing in it. I love flipping through the pages and knowing just by feel how much time has passed in the year, and how much more is yet to come. I love seeing the dates and events I’d planned to do but later scribbled over or out.

You can think of the coming global climate change cataclysm as one big puddle that’s going to drown our CrackBerries, cell phones, PDAs and GPS devices. They’ll work for a while, but when the juice is gone and you can’t just plug ‘er in and go, how are you going to know how to reach all your old friends?

Now, while the electronics are still buzzing, write down the contact info you have for your family and friends. Phone and e-mail addresses, sure, but the power failure that keeps yours from working will do the same to theirs. For post-cataclysm contact, you’ll need their actual, physical street addresses.

What does it mean to “write down?” I’ve created a video that shows an actual person writing so you can see how easy it is. It’s similar to using a stylus on your PDA. The biggest difference is that when you’re done, you can see your handiwork without electricity or battery power.

Imagine that.

[For more cool pics of parrots in puddles, visit the BrooklynParrots.com blog]

Getting down to the real nitty gritty

Listen to tip #8: Post cataclysm technology – the stereo:

If you don’t see the embedded media player above, right click here to download the mp3. Or listen at podbean.com.

[Music by Ursula 1000.]

#8 Post-cataclysm technology: the stereo

You love your Ipod, don’t you? If you’re online, I bet you do. More than 22 million Americans own mp3 players, and that number is growing. Just think how many AA batteries are tossed in the garbage every day, all across this great nation of ours.

What are you going to do after the cataclysm hits and your batteries all run out of juice? If you want to continue to enjoy your favorite music, you need to plan ahead now.

Fortunately, the human animal has a built-in music production system that includes the key technologies you’re used to, albeit in a different form. See Diagram 1 for a breakdown:

What’s different about this post-cataclysm stereo system is that you’ll have to manually operate several different mechanisms simultaneously. Kind of like driving a stick shift – you have to press in the clutch while shifting gears. So you’ll want to begin practicing now so you’ll be prepared when the cataclysm hits. I recommend the following four-step method:

1. Upload your favorite song into the recording medium;
2. Test out different settings on the speaker, equalizer and volume control until you have the right mix for that song;
3. Practice the song at least once daily – in the shower is highly recommended.
4. Repeat these steps with your next favorite song.

With a little practice, you’ll soon be enjoying music without the aid of any electronic devices at all. What’s more, you can create your own beats and remix songs to your own liking, with no risk of copyright violation.

You can even join in with friends and family and play your post-cataclysm stereos together. Nothing will lift your spirits and remind you of the halcyon days when you had hope for the future, like sharing a little music with fellow cataclysm survivors around the campfire.