As I sit here sipping my daily cup of tea, it suddenly dawns on me: Where will I get my caffeine fix after the global climate change cataclysm?
This thought should strike fear in the hearts of all who live in the northern hemisphere. It’s not your own withdrawal you need to worry about either. It’s all those other people who haven’t planned ahead for the cataclysm. Think of it – the entire population of United States and Canada in caffeine withdrawal.
Grumpy, headachy nations with their finger on nuclear hair-triggers, and no access to their daily dose of joe.
There will be a few mitigating circumstances. For one thing, lots of people won’t survive the cataclysm so they won’t be around. But because less of the planet will be habitable, we’ll all be crammed closer together as we suffer our withdrawal. A recipe for disaster, to be sure. It is possible that with weather patterns changing we might be able to grow coffee and tea in places where we can’t now. But those plants will take a long time to get to the point where they can produce an adequate fix for all who need it.
You could add coffee to your cataclysm survival kit, but you just can’t pack enough to meet your needs forever. The better way to prepare for the cataclysm is to break the caffeine habit now. Say adios to your morning cuppa. Taper it off slowly if you must; go cold turkey if you dare.
Switch to a morning beverage that grows locally. Grow your own mint and rose hips for tea. No caffeine, but it’s better for you, and won’t require global shipping and logistics to get it in your cup.
Coffee photo by Arnaud Gaillard