First the mortgage cataclysm; next up, climate change

September 9, 2008

Go ahead now and prepare your home for whomever will take it over after the global climate change cataclysm. Coyotes, bobcats, cockroaches – who knows who it might be. Listen below, or read the post here.

Right click here to download the mp3.

[Ever Since the Grid Went Down by I See Hawks in L.A.]

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#30 Remodel your home for tomorrow’s denizens

September 5, 2008

The mortgage cataclysm is giving us a sneak preview of what might happen after the global climate change cataclysm. Well, minus the floods, desertification and freak weather. For those, we’ve had plenty of warning. These are new details on what to expect.

Your home, after the climate change cataclysm

Your home, after the climate change cataclysm

Start with West Nile virus. That’s on the uptick as a result of mosquitoes breeding in abandoned swimming pools at foreclosed houses. Now we have bobcats taking over abandoned homes in the ‘burbs. Check out this photo from the Los Angeles Times.

What’s next? It’s impossible to know what will survive the cataclysm. That’s because that all depends on what form the cataclysm will take in your neighborhood. We know that cockroaches can withstand just about anything, from atomic bombs to shoe-wielding housewives. Coyotes are another likely survivor. The more we try to kill them off, the more they expand in numbers and range.

Whoever survives, they’ll take over your home when you’re gone. So why don’t you do them a favor? Prepare your house to be a little more welcoming now to the species you’d prefer to give it to. Start by getting rid of all those deadly pesticides, home cleaners and cosmetics they might accidentally get themselves into. Then cut some pet doors of just the right size and shape.

You won’t turn a profit by welcoming these friends, but your mortgage is probably upside down already anyway, so what’s the loss? And who knows, maybe by giving the cataclysm survivors easy access to so much people stuff, the evolutionary process back to humans will go a little faster next time around.