Apparently, a whole generation of people is growing up unable to carry on a conversation with another human being face-to-face. They’re so used to email and texting with their friends, they’d rather do that than actually see them in real life.
Source: The Onion
Great if we want to reduce the spread of communicable diseases. Not so good for after the global climate change cataclysm, when batteries run dry and the electrical grid collapses.
Imagine, you’re going though life just texting along, when your iPhone suddenly goes dead. You realize the last time you plugged it in, it didn’t actually juice up. You look up from the phone, only to discover the water has already risen up to your knees. What do you do?
You can’t start emailing or texting for help. You’ll have to shout. I know it sounds frightening, but you will have to talk to the people around you. They may be family, friends or even strangers. If you don’t know how to carry on a verbal conversation with the people who planned ahead for the cataclysm, you’ll have a lot of trouble getting them to row you to safety or share their freeze-dried Brunswick stew with you.
Practice now. Put down that phone or PDA and talk to someone. You may find it less efficient than email. It will require more words, and you may have to talk about things that aren’t on the topic you started with. You’ll have to use entire words. Then again, you may be surprised to find out it takes less time to say “by the way” than it does to say the letters “BTW.”
You’ll also need to make facial expressions and hand gestures appropriate to the content of your words. To do this, imagine the kind of emoticon you might use with certain statements, and try to make your face look like that. Many people of the older generation learned this as children, and may be able to help you.
Start talking now, lest you find yourself texting underwater.
Adopted and proclaimed by General Assembly resolution 217 A (III) of 10 December 1948.
Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world,
Whereas disregard and contempt for human rights have resulted in barbarous acts which have outraged the conscience of mankind, and the advent of a world in which human beings shall enjoy freedom of speech and belief and freedom from fear and want has been proclaimed as the highest aspiration of the common people,
Everyone knows that the best-tasting holiday cookies are the ones made from scratch with fresh ingredients and a lot of love. The same goes for gifts. Southern California’s indie presses are cooking up unique, reasonably priced poetry and fiction appealing to almost every taste. Check them out online or visit an indie bookstore, and enjoy the warm holiday feeling that comes from knowing you supported local artists and businesses instead of overseas sweatshops and multi-national retail chains.
Remember, buying local is good for the environment. Fend off the cataclysm, one book at a time!
Happy holidays from the Future of Publishing Think Tank*!
*The Future of Publishing Think Tank is an ad hoc group of writers and representatives of independent publishers and bookstores, nonprofit literary organizations, and producers of public radio. Our task: to consider the changes occurring in publishing, distribution, and marketing of literary work and to envision new ways for writers to engage readers and build audiences for their work. Groups who that have been involved include 826LA, Arktoi Books, GuerrillaReads, the HeArt Project, Hol Art Books, “Indymedia on Air” (KPFK), the Lambda Literary Foundation, Les Figues Press, Poet Joi, Poets & Writers, Red Hen Press, Skylight Books, and Writers at Work.
Regular readers of blog52 will have noticed I’ve been doing a Brownie-style heckuva job lately preparing you for the coming global climate change cataclysm. This is week 47, and I’m only up to tip #36. I never call, I never write, I know.
On a more personal note, the hand crank on my wind-up radio broke, which really threw me off my cataclysm workout. Then, this morning, I’ve had to break down and admit that those radishes I planted just aren’t going to get any fatter no matter how long I leave them in their container.
Well I’m back to business now. I promised 52 tips for surviving the climate change cataclysm, and like it or not, you’re going to get them. Plus 52 podcasts of those tips, with music from 52 fabulous artists. It’s just going to take more than 52 weeks to get there.
Stick with me, and we might just survive the cataclysm yet. In fact, if you have any suggestions on how to survive, send them along. I’ve got a sweet sixteen more to go.
A thing has only as much value as people believe it has. After the cataclysm, what will you do if people stop believing in cash? Barter! Listen below, or click here to read tip #33: Pack your barterables.